Posted by
Charlie S. on Sunday, February 08, 2009 5:52:20 AM
Another "Mother's Boyfriend" nightmare comes to pass.
This post will not be a typical Townhall related political message, as there is something much more personal bothering me these days.
As many of my friends in Jackpine Savages chatroom, Townhall Chatter(
http://www.fundmental.com/thchat.php) are aware, my nephew Andrew was diagnosed on Election day(November 4th) of last year with an unoperable tumor on his brainstem. He just turned 8 on October 13, and by all indications to date, he will not live to see his 9th birthday. IF he does, we'll all be damned lucky, but we're praying for a miracle.
A diffuse pontine glioma or brainstem glioma is a high-grade, or malignant, tumor. This type of tumor arises in the glial (supportive) tissue of the lowest, stem-like part of the brain, which controls many vital functions. Diffuse pontine gliomas account for 10-15 percent of all childhood central nervous system tumors. The median age at diagnosis is 5 to 9 years old, and these tumors occur with equal frequency in boys and girls.
At any rate, my family has accepted Andrews fate, and are doing all we can to help him deal with this bad situation. We can't possibly thank all of you enough for your prayers and any donations, of anything, that you might have made to Andrew or the fundraising efforts that have helped my sister Sandy (Andrew's Grandmother), and niece Roxanne(Andrew's mother), to pay for Andrew's treatments, since her Medical Insurance company has been rather stingy with their payments of the bills.
BUT, all that being said, this post is about Selfishness. Not mine, not yours, and certainly not Sandy or Roxanne. This is about Roxanne's "boyfriend." We'll call him Tracey since that's his name. AND we certainly wouldn't want him to miss out on any of the criticism he so richly deserves for the way he has acted since Andrew was diagnosed.
Mind you I'm at home in Utah, and all of this business with Andrew is going on in Michigan. But because of the seriousness of the situation I'm getting sometimes daily updates on what's happening in relation to Andrew and his condition.
What I'm being told, by more people than just Sandy, is that Tracey is being a jealous jackASS since Roxanne is being so rude as to pay more attention to her dying son than she is to her "boyfriend." HOW DARE SHE!!
One of my other nieces has told me that she's heard, first hand and relayed to her from others, that Tracey is making comments of the nature that "he wished Andrew would hurry and die so that Roxanne would start paying attention to him again," and other such comments of great concern for Andrews welfare.
Having met Tracey on my recent trips home to Michigan, I can say that this wouldn't be out of character for him. But as usual, no one can make Roxanne see how he really feels about Andrew, or her other two kids. Or how he's using her.
Thursday of this past week I was talking to Sandy about the trip that the Make A Wish Foundation sponsored for Andrew and his family. The family they paid for was Andrew, his two brothers(Brandon and Nolan), Roxanne, and John, who is Andrew's father(but divorced from Roxanne). Sandy, being the grandmother decided to go too, but as the MAW people didn't pay for her, paid for her own way there and back. I think it was only proper that she go, but also that she pay her own way.
BUT, Tracey, not wanting to be left out, and heaven forbid that Roxanne and John might have some family time with their dying son, invited himself, and his three daughters (by the wife he is divorcing to be with Roxanne) along for the trip. When he couldn't find a way to get MAW to pay his way, he forked out his own money for their trip. But I have NO doubt that he'll try to worm that money out of Roxanne at some point in the notso distant future.
My gripe is that TRACEY SHOULD NOT HAVE GONE, PERIOD!! Not even if he paid his own way. All he did the entire trip is put himself between Roxanne, John and their son. This would have been a good chance for Roxanne and John to patch things up had either or both of them thought of it. Then there's the positive effect such an event might have had for Andrew. But with Tracey there injecting himself into everything, there was no chance of that happening.
To make matter worse, in the last couple days before they left for Florida, Tracey went and made plans for him and Roxanne TO GET MARRIED while they were down there to help Andrew enjoy what should have been one of the greatest events of his soon to end life.
In other words, Tracey was again trying to make everything revolve around HIMSELF, not Andrew.
Thankfully Sandy found out about this and raised hell, which put an end to Tracey's plans. But it also caused Roxanne to stop speaking to her mother at a time when that is one of the most important people she should be leaning on for strength and comfort.
Sandy also told me that one morning when they were down at Disney World, they were all going to go to breakfast at a restaurant that caters to the sick kids that MAW sends to Disney World. Since most of the kids are normally sick, it isn't unusual for them to go to eat in their pajama's, and Andrew new this and wanted to go that way. But Tracey would have none of it. He insisted that Andrew get dressed and when Andrew said NO, Tracey began yelling at him, in front of his Father, Mother, and Grandmother. And probably also in front of his brothers and Tracey's three daughters.
When Tracey started yelling, Andrew IMMEDIATELY PUT HIS HANDS OVER HIS BUTT, and started crying that he didn't want to be spanked again. I don't know what happened next, but apparently Roxanne and John failed to defend their son.
I can also tell you what would have happened next if I'd been there. At the very least, Tracey would have gotten his azs handed to him(probably fatally for him), on the spot, if I'd found out he was putting his hands on my nephews. If his injuries were not fatal, he also would have been escorted to the nearest jail as I would have filed a police complaint for child abuse. HE IS NOT THEIR FATHER and has NO RIGHT to touch those boys in that manner, FOR ANY REASON.
If needed, THAT is for their mother or father to administer, not some aszhole who's injecting himself into the family.
Well, there you have the situation in a nutshell. I invite your comments on how you think the entire situation should have been handled, by any of us in the family, or how you might have handled matter if this was your family.